We are pleased to be able to tell
you about our regrettable experience with this former employee. This lady was so unproductive; the job
would have been better left unfilled.
Although our Customer feedback did increase, we’ve received numerous
complaints about cold food, wrong food or extra food being delivered. She was able to showcase the Daily Specials
to all her tables before she could figure out which customer order it. Unfortunely, she was unable sell our Dessert
items, because she was on a perpetual diet. But our Diet Drink mix consumption
tripled after she was hired. She did at least have the mandatory criminal
record & was give two thumbs up by her Parole Officer.
It will be a constant
struggle to get her or any of the staff that she works with to stop gossiping amongst
themselves, fighting over tables, tips, customers, texting or updating their Face
Book pages. If missing, you may
want to check the broom closets to make sure her boyfriend hasn’t shown up, the
bathrooms, she’s checking her make-up or her hair maybe out of place, smoking
outside, or stealing drinks from the bar.
If all else fails, check her Face Book status page. Be aware that you should check the
length of her skirts and neckline of her tops before allowing her to clock in
& check her purse, pockets or backpacks before letting her clock out.
Make sure that you triple
check her register; because it will be a toss-up on whether she’s shorted you,
over charged the customer or ran out of fingers or toes. And if she doesn’t pad the customer’s
meal tickets, or pocket her voids
– buy a lottery ticket, because it’s your lucky day. On the plus side, she was always on the
look out to speed up her customer service by always leaving the cash register
drawer open or money on the counter.
And as far as professional and
personal hygiene in hindsight it’s nothing that a little Soap, Apple Cider
Vinegar or a Tic Tac couldn’t easily solve. Plus she’s promised the always wash her hands after that
last outbreak of ptomaine poisoning, but we are thankful that no one died.
To summarized our
experience with this employee: We
have been asked in the past by our customers to have her party leave the bar
because they were making too much noise, but we did sell her table a lot of
booze that night. Half of our Cook
Staff has been declared certifiably insane (supporting documents available upon
request). We have lost
our hair, shirts, shorts, minds, & sex drive (but we have found some outstanding
Pornsites), we’re addicted to energy drinks, & our dog was ran over by the
Dog Catcher.
If you too have been fooled
into hiring this person, don’t come crying to us.
Warm Regards, In-Law’s BBQ & Steakhouse
